Too Far
by bamfhowell
Summary: Dan has an abusive boyfriend and one day Phil is worried when he doesn't come home from being at his boyfriend's house. So, Phil goes out to find Dan and bring him home but is shocked when he finds Dan and feelings are confessed.


Dan Howell sighed in frustration as he stared at the clock. There was still about 10 minutes left until he was supposed to start his live for his subscribers.

Dan did this every Tuesday, or… at least, he tried to. But, Dan thought he would surprise his subscribers and do one Saturday and one on Tuesday.

Dan had already tweeted about 20 minutes ago that he was going to do a live show today so he couldn't back out. Dan was tired but he didn't care. Maybe talking to his followers would wake him up, cheer him up a little. It's what he needed right now at the moment.

"Dan?" Dan blinked a few times, being quickly shaken out of his own thoughts... and looked over, seeing his friend, Phil Lester, walk into the room.

"What?" Dan asked before letting out a rather big yawn.

Phil raised his eyebrows as he walked into the room and looked at Dan. "I was just making sure you were still doing your live show tonight," he said.

Dan nodded. "I'm just waiting for it to turn 9 o'clock," he told him.

Phil bit his lip nervously. "Are you sure you should be doing this, Dan? You've been working all weekend on this new video that you've finally been able to film. And not to mention, you haven't slept in two days straight. Aren't you tired?" He asked.

Dan sighed and shook his head. "Okay, so I'm a little tired but so what? I already told everyone that I was doing this live show. I can't just not do it. I'll be fine, alright?" He snapped. He took a deep breath as he looked away from Phil.

Phil sighed. "I'm just worried about you, Dan. You haven't made a video in a month and you've decided to just do one this weekend. You've been working non-stop with little sleep. I don't know how you were able to do the radio show this weekend," he said.

"I can take care of myself, Phil. Alright? I'm going to do the live show," Dan mumbled.

"Fine. Just know that I really do care about you, Dan. I want you to be happy," Phil whispered.

"I am happy. I just… everything's just stressful right now," Dan said. He sighed.

Phil sighed and nodded. He knew that no matter what he said, Dan was doing the live show. Phil was about to walk out but he looked over and frowned as he watched Dan reach over and grab his phone. Phil could see bruises all over Dan's arm and Phil knew exactly who they were from.

Phil had known that Dan's been in a relationship with another boy since he first met him. Dan and Phil told each other everything so it was very hard for Dan to keep his relationship away from Phil. Luckily, Phil had promised not to tell anybody unless Dan said that he could. It's been four years now and Phil still kept that promise. So, Dan knew that he could trust Phil.

The only problem was; Dan wasn't exactly in the best relationship he could be in.

Everything was perfectly fine the first two years that he'd been dating this boy, and his name was Dustin, it wasn't until two years ago when things started going downhill and Dustin became very abusive. Dan kept it to himself for months until Phil saw one of Dan's bruises. Phil wanted to say something to Dan but every time he tried to bring it up, Dan would ignore him. So, Phil stayed out of it, even though it absolutely killed him to not say anything.

Phil absolutely hated that Dan was getting hurt by another boy and that he couldn't do anything about it, it broke his heart. Of course, he would talk to Dustin himself but he knew that Dan would be angry with him and he definitely didn't want that.

Dan looked over at Phil and blinked a few times when he saw that he was just standing there.

"Are you just gonna stand there?" Dan asked.

Phil shook his head and looked over at Dan. "What?" He asked.

Dan rolled his eyes and looked over at Phil again. "You've been standing there for like two minutes. My live show starts in five. Can you leave?" He asked calmly.

"Oh, Um, just call for me if you need anything," Phil mumbled. He started to walk away again.

"Phil?" Dan asked quietly as he looked over at him. Phil immediately stopped and looked over at Dan but he didn't say anything though. Dan took a deep breath before he looked up at Phil again. "I-I really do appreciate everything you do. I know I can be a pain in the ass and I can be really stubborn sometimes but… I do appreciate having you around all the time when no one else is. It does mean a lot to me, really..." Dan whispered.

Phil smiled as he looked at Dan. He slowly nodded but didn't say anything.

Dan sighed as he watched Phil walk out of the room.

Dan glanced over at the clock and saw that it was nearly two minutes until he had to start his live show. Dan immediately went to Younow and got everything set and his live show was finally starting, after what seemed like he had waited for forever.

"'Sup everyone?" Dan greeted happily as soon as he saw the comments in the chat started rolling in. "Give me a second… I haven't tweeted anything yet. This is the exciting part of the show where I sit here and you get to stare at my face. Woo hoo," Dan said, smiling a little bit.

Dan took a few minutes to tweet, facebook and then post on tumblr that he was going live.

"Okay, now you guys have my full attention. How's everybody doing? In one word… go!" Dan said. "Fantabulous said Emily R. Okay and Jake M is feeling sad. Oh no, don't be sad! Katie B is sick. Oh dear. Everybody tell Katie B to feel better. Okay, so we have those people who are at school and hate everything and then people are sick and then the others that are just feeling great. Right…" Dan laughed. Dan bit his lip nervously as he glanced down at his arm, praying that no one would be able to see his bruises. He was being risky and wearing a short sleeved shirt but usually no one could see his bruises during live shows because of the horrible lighting.

An hour or so later; Dan's live show had ended. Dan was about to stand up from his chair but he stopped when his phone beeped, which meant that he had a text message. Dan reached over and grabbed it. He took a deep breath when he saw that he had gotten a text from Dustin. Dan stared at his phone for a few seconds before he finally opened the text.

**To: Dan**

**From: Dustin**

_Come over tomorrow? Love you xx_

Dan sighed as he stared at the text for a couple of seconds before he finally stood up from the chair and made his way towards the lounge, where he knew that Phil would be at. "Phil?" Dan called as he walked to the lounge. He walked into the lounge finally, and looked up to see Phil sitting on the couch.

Phil looked up and smiled when he saw Dan.

"Hey." Dan said as he walked further into the lounge.

"Hey. What's up?" He asked. Dan walked over to the couch and sat down next to Phil.

"I'm going to go over to Dustin's tomorrow," Dan said.

Phil frowned. "We're doing the radio show tomorrow though?" He said.

Dan bit his lip slightly. "I-I know but it will only be for a couple of hours. I'll be home in time, I promise. You know I wouldn't miss the radio show for anything,"

Phil sighed. "Dan, I don't think it's a good idea to go over there." Phil said nervously.

Dan blinked a few times. "What are you talking about? He's my boyfriend," he snapped.

"I know but every single time you come home from his… you have fresh, new bruises on your body and I know that he's hurting you all the time. You just don't want to admit that he's no good for you." Phil snapped. He took a deep breath.

Dan stared at him with shock. He shook his head and then hestood up from the couch.

"Dan, I'm only looking out for you because I care about you," Phil whispered.

"Well, don't look out for me anymore. I know what I'm doing. This is my relationship so stay out of it, okay?" Dan snapped. "I know how to take care of myself and what happens between me and Dustin is none of your business." Phil went to say something but Dan turned around and stormed out of the lounge without saying another word to Phil.

Phil groaned and hid his face in his hands. "Fuck!" He cried.

It was the next day when Dan was getting everything together and was getting ready to leave the apartment so that he could go over to go over to Dustin's house. It was around 12 o'clock in the afternoon now. Dan was nervous about going to Dustin's house.

Last time he went over there, they got into a massive argument with each other over something so little, and then he left with new bruises. Dan didn't need any more bruises on his body. But, he had to trust Dustin. Dustin was his boyfriend after all. Dan was also worried about Phil getting more suspicious. But, Dan wanted to prove that he could handle this by himself.

Dan walked over to his door and looked around his bedroom. He bit his lip nervously before he finally turned around and walked out of his bedroom. He sighed as he walked to the stairs.

"I'll see you later, Phil!" Dan called as he walked down the stairs.

Phil immediately ran out of his bedroom and to the stairs to try and stop Dan, but it was too late. Dan was already out the door before Phil could even say anything to im.

Phil shook his head. "Fuck," he muttered. He turned around and went back to his bedroom.

A half an hour later; Dan was finally at Dustin's house. Luckily, Dustin didn't leave too far from his and Phil's apartment so it didn't take very long to get there, which Dan was thankful for.

Dan took a deep breath before he finally knocked on the door. He stood there for a few minutes before Dustin finally opened the door. Dan looked up and he wasn't really that surprised when he saw Dustin still in his pajama's with no shirt on, which Dan didn't mind.

"Ah, you finally came. I thought you weren't gonna come," Dustin said.

Dan couldn't help but smile. "Why wouldn't I?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, I don't know, you're a busy man, aren't you? I just thought you would have something else to do," Dustin said. Dan blushed and shook his head. "Well, come in." Dustin reached over and pulled Dan inside. He shut the door behind him. Dan turned to look at Dustin. He went to say something but he was cut off by Dustin pulling him closer and kissing him. Dan immediately kissed him back. He rested his hands on Dustin's chest. Dan groaned when Dustin pushed him against the wall. Dustin finally pulled away from the kiss and slowly started kissing Dan's neck.

"Dustin," Dan moaned as he closed his eyes. He quicklyre-opened his eyes. "I-I can't stay that long…" Dustin immediately pulled away from Dan's neck and looked at him, almost glaring at him. Dan stared at him with wide eyes when he saw the look on his face. He almost immediately regretted saying that. He knew that Dustin wasn't going to be happy but he had a commitment and he promised Phil that he wasn't going to miss the radio show.

"And why the fuck not?" Dustin asked angrily.

Dan took a deep breath. "I have to do the radio show tonight with Phil," he whispered.

Dustin scoffed. "He's all you talk about. And I don't like it," he hissed.

"Dustin, come on. You know he's just a…" Dan gasped when Dustin slapped him. Dan's eyes began to water up as he stared at Dustin. Dan could already feel the pain burning on his cheek, but he's learned to ignore it by now. He's dealt with worse pain. "Dustin." Dan whispered.

Dustin glared at him. "I'm tired of hearing about, Phil. Every God damn single time you come over here… Phil is all you talk about and I'm not happy about that," Dustin hissed.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it anymore. Please," Dan begged.

"I know you won't do it anymore. I'll make sure you won't," Dustin snapped. He harshly grabbed Dan's arm and then he dragged him into the living room. Dan tried to pull his arm away from Dustin but Dustin only pulled him closer and the grip got tighter.

"Dustin, please, don't hurt..." Dan began to say. Dustin turned around and harshly slapped him again, making Dan fall to the floor. Dan groaned as soon as he hit the floor. A few tears fell out of his eyes. Dan looked up at Dustin, who only smirked at him.

"Pathetic." Dustin whispered. Dan closed his eyes as more tears fell out of his eyes.

It's been a couple hours since Dan had left to go to Dustin's house.

It was getting to be 6 o'clock now. Phil was getting worried as time passed by. Dan should have been home by now. The radio show was starting in a half an hour and Dan and Phil had to be at the studio at 6:30 so they could prepare for tonight's radio show.

Phil had already sent Dan a few texts and had even tried calling him but Dan wasn't answering his phone no matter what Phil did. Dan always answered his phone. Phil already knew why Dan wasn't answering his phone; it was most likely because of Dustin. Phil was 100% sure Dustin had something to do with Dan not coming home and that made Phil even more worried.

So, Phil immediately got ready and left the apartment to go to Dustin's house. Luckily, he had been there a couple times before so he knew exactly where to go. Phil didn't care about anyone else but Dan. He just wanted to find Dan and bring him home, where he would be safe.

It took Phil over a half an hour to get to Dustin's house.

Phil had already called the BBC to let them know that they might not be able to do the show tonight, because Phil had absolutely no idea what condition Dan was going to be in. So, thankfully, Scott Mills and Chris Stark said they would be able to fill in for Dan and Phil if they couldn't make it. This took a weight load off of Phil's chest.

Phil was just walking up to Dustin's porch. He immediately knocked on the door but he got no answer. Phil bit his lip as he looked around. He took a deep breath before he turned the doorknob and sighed in relief when the door opened. "Dan?" Phil called nervously as he stepped inside the house, praying that Dustin wouldn't be around.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Phil jumped as soon as he heard a voice.

He looked over and he froze when he saw Dustin. "Where's Dan at?" Phil asked. Dustin smirked and Phil really didn't like the look on his face. It almost scared him.

"Take him. He's all yours now. I'm done with him," Dustin snapped. He shoved passed Phil and walked out of the house, slamming the door shut, making Phil jump.

Phil walked around the house, looking for Dan, before he finally spotted Dan lying on the floor, in the living room. Phil gasped with shock as soon as he saw Dan.

"Dan!" Phil yelled. He ran over to him. Phil sat down on his knees. He took deep breaths as he stared at Dan's. Dan's face was red and there were bruises all over his arms. "Oh my God." Phil whispered as his eyes began to water up. Phil quickly pulled out his phone and immediately called for an ambulance. He was glad that he had called the BBC before-hand. "Dan, can you hear me?" Phil asked. "Dan?" Dan's eyes slowly fluttered opened and Phil sighed in relief.

"Hello? What's your emergency? How may I help you?" Someone finally answered the phone.

"Hi. I need an ambulance immediately. My friend is beaten badly and I don't know how much pain he's in. All I know is that he needs help right now," Phil told the lady.

"An ambulance will be sent to you. What's your address?" Phil gave the lady Dustin's address and hung up on her. He sat the phone beside him and then he looked back at Dan.

"Ph-Phil? What's going on? Wh-What are you doing here?" Dan asked quietly. He tried to sit up but gasped as soon as he felt pain gush through his body.

"Dan, no. Don't move, okay? Stay there. Don't sit up. An ambulance is coming. Okay? You're going to the hospital and you're going to be fine," Phil assured him.

"Where's Dustin? What time is it? The radio show?" Dan asked as his eyes began to water up.

Phil chuckled. "Dan, relax. Everything's going to be fine. Dustin's not here anymore. He left. The radio show is still happening. Scott and Chris are taking over for us. I'm not going to let you do the radio show in this state when you're in pain," he said calmly.

"I'm so sorry, Phil." Dan whispered as tears began to pour out of his eyes.

Phil frowned. "Dan, don't be…" He began to say.

"You were right about Dustin. He's not good for me and I'm sorry f-for not listening to you," he whispered. Phil went to say something but Dan continued to speak. "I-I love you."

"Dan-" Phil began to say. He sighed when Dan's eyes closed shut.

Phil waited by Dan's side for about 10 minutes before he finally heard sirens, which meant that, the ambulance was finally there to pick Dan up. Phil only cared about getting Dan to the hospital and getting him healthy again. He knew that Dan was in pain and it absolutely killed him to see his best friend in so much pain. It broke Phil's heart. Dan could barely sit up. That just showed Phil that Dustin did some damage to him. Phil hated Dustin for what he did to Dan, he knew that Dustin had gone too far this time. It wasn't fair what he had done to Dan.

Phil stood up as soon as he heard knocking at the door. He quickly went to the door and immediately opened it. He looked up and sighed in relief when he saw that the ambulance was waiting outside for them. All he cared about was getting Dan some help.

"He's in the living room," Phil told them. He watched as a couple people walked into the house and then he watched as they rolled his best friend out of the house. "Wait!" One of the people looked back at him. "Can I please ride with him?" Phil asked nervously.

"Of course," The lady said.

Phil smiled and immediately followed them. He jumped into the ambulance with Dan. He sat down and gently grabbed onto Dan's hand. Phil bit his lip as he stared at Dan. His eyes began to water up. "I-I love you too, Dan." Phil whispered as he stared at him. He took a deep breath, letting a couple tears fall out of his eyes. He wished he could have done something and made Dan stay back at home. Maybe he wouldn't be in this state right now.

It took months for Dan to be healthy again; after the last time Dustin had hurt him.

Dan didn't do any radio shows; luckily Phil was able to do them by himself or he was able to get a friend to help him with the radio show. It wasn't the same without Dan though. Dan hadn't made any videos because he was too ashamed to show himself on camera. He didn't even show up in any of Phil's video, which made Phil quite sad but he understand Dan's pain.

Dan was now healthy again; after six months of getting help. He was ready to start doing the radio show again and he was ready to start making youtube videos again.

"Dan, are you sure you want to do this?" Phil asked nervously as he stood in the doorway of Dan's bedroom; watching him as he set up his video camera. "You don't have to... I mean, I know you're still hurting and everything?"

Dan rolled his eyes as he looked over at Phil. "I'm ready, Phil. It's been six months and I'm okay to do videos again. Virginia said that I was healthy enough. I want to do this."

Phil sighed and nodded. "Do you want me to stay or leave?" He asked.

"C-Can you stay?" Dan asked nervously. "Not like... be in the video, but just... stay?"

"Of course I can stay," Phil said. He walked over to Dan's computer desk and sat down.

Dan smiled as he watched Phil. He turned on the camera and then he walked over to his bed and sat down. He looked up at the camera and took a deep breath.

"Hey internet-" Dan said as he did his famous salute. "It's been a while..."

Dan knew what he wanted to talk about. He needed to talk about his abusive relationship; maybe he would be able to help others who were in abusive relationships like he had been in.

"So, it's been six months since I've made a youtube video. But, I have an excuse... a real proper excuse. It's not because I had another life crisis or whatever. No, it's because I was getting help for... um, well... I was in an abusive relationship..." Dan began to say.

Phil immediately looked over at Dan and took a deep breath.

Dan glanced at Phil but he kept talking. "I was in a relationship with this guy for four years and it wasn't all that bad. The first two years was the best two years of my life. Then, he became abusive and I didn't do anything about it. Becuase I was so in love with him and I didn't want to lose him and I didn't want anything bad to happen to him. Stupid right? Well, that's what happens when you've been with someone for so long." Dan explained.

"Dan..." Phil began to say as he stared at him.

"No, I can do this Phil..." Dan warned. He took a deep breath.

"Okay, just... stop whenever you want to," Phil told him.

"SIx months ago... I was in a bad state. I was at the hospital because of this abusive relationship but I'm fine now. I'm healthy as can be and I'm happy, for the first time in four years. I'm just making this video because I want to help others who might be in an abusive relationship. You need to get out of that relationship. Get help. Trust me, I did and I'm happy I did."

Dan sighed and stopped for a few seconds before he looked up at the camera again.

"I'll be making weekly videos again after a lot of therapy and I'll be back on the radio with Phil next week and I'm super excited. Sorry this video is so short but I thought you guys had a right to know about why I was on haitus for so long. But, I'm back. In the decription below will be some links for those who are in an abusive relationship and need help like I did."

"Well... that's all for today. See you next week, and I mean it this time. Bye!" Dan said as he waved to the camera. He reached over and turned off the camera. Dan sighed.

"I'm so proud of you Bear," Phil said as he stood up from the chair. He walked over to the bed and he sat down next to Dan. "Are you going to be okay?" He asked.

Dan looked over at Phil and smiled a genuine smile. "Yeah, I think I will be."


End file.
